thOse nights

I look over and over ur pictures...trying to understand why u still there in my heart...why u seemed so sincere, why u were so u, why u did all that u did...u made me think that was true..it seemed to.!
I can't find the answers...just because u wanna be charming with me..?..well...with us.!?..I guess that u did the same with her...
Some situations, some kisses, some...things...seemed to getting out from ur heart...ha!...yeah...sure...
I want u back if u can only be the one who u were those nigths...those hours...below the moon when we kissed...but u r not that boy...
I was thinking if u really miss me how u say u do...or did.../...u deceived me one, two, three times...and u still saying that u want me back because u can't be just my friend, because u can't stop thinking on me...and she's there...and u beg me...and u want me to believe u...but how..!!??..
And I keep thinking...why u said all that..??...how could u be such a gentleman.?..why u were exactly who I wanted u to be...why u said everyday that u didn't want me to go.?..if I wasn't the only girl in ur mind...if u were kissing her behind my back...why..?.
Sometimes I think that u really mean it...and that in some way u did felt all those awesome feelings that u told me...sometimes I wanna cross the line...
But no, just shut up...it's too late...I said no...I can't believe u anymore...u didn't do what u promised...u didn't care about change...
I can't look at u and imagine how u hug her...if u tell her the same things that u told me...I don't wanna think if u kiss her in the same way that u kissed me...in those nights...
And u took that word...and u r with her...and how I feel now..?..I don't know...
And if u come back..?.. if u realize that I do worth it...that I deserve the changes.?.that she really "can't compare to me" like u said...would I be there..?..
And what if u don't.?..would be my fault for said no..?..for in first time in life put my own heart's security before someone else...or...would be her fault for being there no matter how shammer could u be.?.or anyway...u always prefered her..?..
...I saw u today...u kissed me in the cheek...and u stabbed my heart...and u gave me a little hug, ur smell clung in my shirt...and u keep walking...and I was crying...but note it...nobody saw a single tear...I'm stronger now...